Recently I have seen that if I don’t keep a leash on my tongue I tend to wonder off on a tangent of sorts. I have always been opinionated so it is nothing new to me, just a little scary now that the whole world is critiquing my entire existence. It feels like I am reading out loud a movie script and the director is staring at me just looking for one small minuscule error. Just one itsy bitsy error can make the difference between me getting the part and the fake breasted blonde on the end with absolutely no talent but the eagerness to suck off the director and his crew if need be.
It scares me in a way, that I, after all these years, just might be talented in a way that nobody, including myself ever imagined. You can walk on ice your whole life and never fall but, will always hold that thought that there is a chance you could. That is how I feel. I keep looking out for that fall, like it is just around the corner, glaring at me, taunting me to fail.
I suppose everyone is like this to some extent. And I really don’t feel like I have to worry about letting anyone down, I just feel like I might let myself down. I have clawed my way out of the abyss of nothingness and refuse to go back willingly. Funny thing is, there is always somebody holding my leg with all their might trying to keep me down in that pit. I kick and scream for them to let go, but it is to no avail. They hold on for dear life just making me fight that much harder to climb higher.
I won’t stop though; I have to reach my destination regardless of those holding me and pulling me down. I have to do what I feel is right no matter what. I refuse to go back to where I started, I refuse to stagnate, I refuse to allow others have power over my destiny anymore. No more looking back, no more excuses. I do this for me now and only me. The time has come to say goodbye to those who wish to see me fail, I no longer hear you or see you. I only see one thing; I am focused to reach my goals. It is time for all of you to learn how to live without me being your step stool. Go to Home Depot I hear they have ones much more to your liking, not as sturdy as me but, definitely cheaper and exactly what you need.