Some people are just not meant to be together.
As true as this statement is, people still jump into relationships without knowing the person they are going to spend the rest of their life with. It seems like people get together these days with the idea that divorce is ALWAYS an option. Divorce should not be an option it should be the last resort, that everything humanly possible has been attempted and there is nothing left but that. Truth is if people thought it out more, they wouldn’t marry if there was any indication that they would be getting divorced. At least you would think they wouldn’t, but no; we live in an age of the me, me, me’s!
I don’t come from a long line of long marriages, more like a long line of divorce after divorce. I, for one, just cannot understand the concept of divorce. Why get married if you are just going to divorce someone over something that makes absolutely no sense. Most people would just say don’t get married in the first place. Well, duh you shouldn’t get married just because, there has to be more of a reason then, convenience or pregnancy. But, my point is, if you have already gotten married and wake up one day thinking, “you know what this marriage isn’t working out for me so I will get a divorce”, well my friend you are wrong.
You have already made the mistake by marrying them, basically you made your bed now lie in it. Obviously, there are reasons to get a divorce but, not if you already know this about them prior to marriage. There is no reason for you to just end something because it isn’t going your way. If you didn’t know something about your mate prior to marriage because you got married quickly, guess what; still not a reason.
People need to stop with the excuses; it gets to be annoying as Hell. Stop living your life with excuse after excuse, we are all grown people, when exactly do you stop being an excuse maker, blaming those other then where blame should lie, yourself, and grow up. Being a grown up entails more than just the fun stuff. For some reason, people have the misunderstanding that as soon as you have sex you are an adult, because adults have sex. Wrongo!!!
I am a firm believer you can be adult at any age, it is mentality and actions. I know a few children who are more adult then adults, I happened to be one of them. People just give up so easily these days, giving up on raising their kids and making their marriage work. It really is a misconception that love is what makes a marriage. Trust me when I say, having love does not a happy marriage make. Love will not save a marriage, just like a baby will not save a relationship. Eventually, somebody is going to feel trapped, hold resentment and get bitter for their needs and wants no being met.
I have seen it time and time again, people married for many, many years, and then all of a sudden you notice something about them. You see the arguments and the hatred; it is not a pretty sight to see, the insults flying back and forth, the lack of respect, nothing but pure uncensored hate.
By the time you get hate in your relationship, you have to question, why stay together? That’s when people give the excuse; well it’s too late to do something about it now. So instead of getting a divorce they decide it is their mission in life to see who can make who more miserable the quickest, end result hopefully; death.
How can you spend your entire adult life with someone and as soon as retirement hits you realize you can’t stand that person? Weren’t there signs from the start that just maybe you might not get along? Well, I suppose there isn’t, because nobody was thinking about the long haul, just the right now. At some point you have to realize that one day you will both be old, there won’t be any more sex, the kids will be gone and what do you have left, just you and your spouse. Then what? Are you going to complain about how life didn’t go how you planned it? But, you didn’t plan that is the problem; you didn’t consider that eventually it will be just you and your spouse and you both just might not be favorably suitable for one another.
I don’t have the answer on how to fix this; I do however, have the way to prevent it. Don’t get married unless you absolutely know all there is to know about your partner. Don’t go into a marriage thinking if it doesn’t work out you can just divorce. Make sure that you both are compatible in all areas of your lives and beliefs. I’m not saying you will never argue, because all humans are different, obviously people will disagree over things at some point. But, at least, you will be able to reconcile quickly and not have to get a divorce because someone’s favorite color isn’t blue.
In ending I say, think before acting, this goes for all in your life including relationships. And for those working on their marriages, keep working, because even if you do end up in divorce you will know you did all you could to fix it and you will go into your next relationship a better person.