Lenten Offering…My Way

It’s Lent and I got to thinking about what I should give up…. That’s when it dawned on me, I don’t need to be rid of more in my life ….I need to supplement it. Funny isn’t it? How many full-time moms’ do you know that say those words? Honestly, I don’t know any who opt for more over less. Then again, I am known for my uniqueness and this is definitely an out of the box thing to do.

I am one of those women who never were educated to do just for me. I was always about someone else as far back as I can remember. I never gave a second thought about doing for everyone but, me. I had kids and always put them first. I always put my husband first as well, and the funny thing is the more I did for them the more they required me to do for them. I don’t know if it is neediness or plain ole laziness but, I am worn out and something needs to give.Anyway, I decided that I was going to do more for me during this time when the rest of the world is giving things up.

First thing I will do is pamper myself. I have always been a no-fuss woman, I only wear makeup, dress nice, and do my hair when we would go out of the house. That was rare before my car kicked the bucket and it is even more so now. I have always been adamant that there was no need to “dress up” to play house, now I am not so sure. By the way, who the hell called it “playing house”, some woman with Mary Poppins in her employment I am sure. I don’t want to become one of those women who are all about themselves but, I do need to be one who holds herself up to the standards I hold others to. There is no reason for me to not at least look good before we eat dinner. Just because I spend all day cleaning doesn’t mean I need to look like a chimney sweep at day’s end.

Secondly, I will be overly-nauseating with the compliments, not just to the family but, to myself as well. I shouldn’t have to wait for someone to flatter me or show me love and affection, I know I am worthy and therefore I will show me. It may sound silly to you but, I come from a family whose idea of praise was not calling you a bitch for an hour. I guess that means I should stop calling myself bitch as well. Being a joker means, I would say things and laugh before anyone else could. That too, must end, because I am not amused anymore.

Thirdly, smiles and laughter must return to my daily life. I no longer wish to have screams and tears, those are not who I am but, it is what most people notice about me first. Not the screaming but, the sad tear-stained eyes. That’s why I love sunglasses, thanks to the person who made sunglasses at night a trend. Hold on while I begin to sing…I wear my sunglasses at night so I can so I can watch you weave then breathe your story lines. And I wear my sunglasses at night so I can so I can keep track of the visions in my eyes. Oh yea, Corey Hart…. Thank you!!!

And last but, not least, I will keep my gigantic ever loving mouth shut. HAHAHA Oh that one made me snort laugh. Where’s a Kleenex when you need one? LOL. That one is going to be the hardest of all, Lord help humanity if I succeed though, that will put me right up there with the God’s on Mount Olympus. I don’t know if it is possible, I always tell myself just walk away, shut up and walk away but, something always stops me and before I know it my mouth flies open and spits venom at anyone within reach. So, I suppose if all else fails I will purchase lots of duct tape and keep it in my purse.

These are my plans; I sure hope I can stick with them. And when I do reach enlightenment after the 40days is over I promise to invite all of you who were so kind to not abandon me through this, up to Mount Olympus for a pool party with lots of booze and pool boys in tiny skin tight speedo’s. Oh and if you are a man well, ummm yea you will get a speedo upon your arrival!! LMAO

Shoe Lust Leads to Unnecessary Operation

Article first published as Woman Who Lied about Pain to get a Free Operation Should Have to pay it Back on Technorati.

Last night, well technically 2 am, I lied down like I always do to try and sleep. Alas, no dice. So I pick up my Blackberry and begin reading all the news on my Snaptu application. One of the blogs I love reading is Jezebel.

I came across this article about the woman who had foot surgery so that she could wear designer heels, cleverly entitled, “Lust for Designer Heels Drives Woman to get Unnecessary Foot-Slimming Operation.” As I read, I was disgusted, not just about how she scammed Britain’s Healthcare to get a senseless and unnecessary surgery but also at the lengths women go to nowadays for fashion/beauty. Really, having your feet broken to wear certain shoes, I can only shake my head at this.

I often wonder what the parents of these type of women must have taught them as children. I don’t understand how you would be so vain as to have an expensive operation done, free of charge, on your country’s dime, for high heels. If a shoe hurts why on Earth would you wear it? Only women do this, parents tell their kids if the shoe hurts then a new pair will be bought that fits. We sure don’t tell them, “Beauty is pain, suck it up or we will have your foot made smaller so the shoe works for you.”

Well, the operation is now done and she is gloating because she lied to her doctor so that she could get a free operation. I say, make her pay it back, even if it means auctioning off her personal property including her newly acquired name brand shoes.