My Friday Freak Out

I am exhausted….mentally, physically, and most of all, emotionally.
When I get like this no amount of caffeine or sleep can fix it. It isn’t something that happens often but, it does happen. I am an overly stressed woman who holds the weight of the world on my shoulders and every now and again; a weight drops on me that I am not strong enough to handle, that is when I become exhausted. Most people call this a breakdown; I call it an ill-timed shutdown.

My daughter wasn’t feeling well, and as a parent this is the first sign of impending doom. I sat here helpless and guilt stricken. We haven’t had health insurance in 3 years and even though it’s not our fault; it made me feel bad for having kids that apparently I am in no position to raise the way I would like to.

She came to me and told me there is a lump between her chin and neck. Here is how my mind works when something happens…..

OMG Oh My God OH MY GOD A LUMP. SHE HAS A LUMP IN HER NECK. MY SISTER HAD LUMPS IN HER NECK……. SHE DIED OMG OMG OMFG. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO NOW? WHO CAN I CALL? WHERE CAN I TAKE HER? I AM A PIECE OF SHIT!!!!! WHY HAVE I LET HER GO SO LONG WITHOUT SEEING A DOCTOR…..

I am a worrier, I am a thinker, and I am a paranoid freak who fears the worst in almost every situation. You have to understand where I am coming from though. If you have read my posts you know how hard my sister’s death hit me, and how I begged people to see a doctor before it’s too late.

The worst part of me being like this, is I refuse to let my children see me freak out. I don’t want them seeing me act like a blubbering idiot nor have them freaked out because I am freaking out. I’m not saying I haven’t cried in front of them because I have. I just don’t want to melt down that hard and fast in front of them. I picked up my phone and called my husband….

“We need to take her to the doctor. Do you think I can take her to the clinic tomorrow as a walk-in and get her seen? NO, I think that would take all day. I WANT to take her to the ER.” I said to him before he could mutter a hello.

He asked me which Hospital I wanted to take her to and when he came home we drove there. I told him to drop our daughter and me off and take our son home and rest. He argued with me, of course, he always does but, I assured him I can handle it and we shouldn’t have our son out all night waiting in a Hospital. It was 11ish pm when we walked in the Hospital. I updated Facebook so my family could be informed. But, while there I lost signal and I knew eventually I’d have to walk outside and update the panicked people on my friends list.

Fast forward to the test results, because I don’t want to put my daughter’s entire experience out there. Just because I am a writer and blogger doesn’t mean I should violate her right to privacy. They tested her for diabetes, it runs rampant in my family and I am insulin resistant so it was a huge concern. Thankfully, the results came back as normal. WHEW!!! They also tested her thyroid level because she has had Hashimoto’s Disease (auto-immune hypothyroidism) since she was 6 and 3 years without medicine was also a huge concern. Surprisingly, those came back normal too. WOW!!!

Now about the lump, the doctor’s are convinced it’s a lymph node and that we need to watch it. They said they would test for infection, I don’t know what they said all I heard was lymph node. Here is another peek into my mind….

WHAT!!! LYMPH NODEEEEE…DID SHE SAY LYMPH NODE. OH MY GODDDDDD GOD NOOOOOOO PLEASE GOD NOOOOOOO DON’T DO THIS TO ME AGAIN. THIS IS MY DAUGHTER YOU CANNOT HAVE HER. YOU WILL NOT HAVE HER!!!!
Tears streamed down my face and I wiped them quickly before my daughter saw them.

For those of you that don’t know why I freaked out like a mental case… my sister who passed, was sick and her lymph nodes popped out of her neck. I had not even 3 full days with my sister on the phone before she died in the Hospital. Prior to that her and I had spoke on the phone and discussed possibilities for the lymph node problem. I COULDN’T do this with my daughter and I went from 0-60 in .03 seconds.

The doctor told me no sign of infection and what to watch for with my daughter’s lymph node. They gave me the whole spiel about if it worsens yada yada, make an appointment Monday with a pediatrician and sent us home with 3 prescriptions at 4 am. After a long talk today with my mom and my brother in law; who is a pediatrician, I feel a little calmer. I will feel much better when the lymph node is no longer inflamed and she is back to perfect health. I guess our kids can never be too old for us to flip out about.

Fallen In Love

Hi my name is Jen
let me tell you where I’ve been
I just visited this blog post
and I don’t mean to boast
but I have fallen in love
with a blog.
The words the blog pens
makes my hair stand up on ends
I won’t attempt to deny it
so I have to admit
that I have fallen in love
with a blog.
The photos are keen
every detail is pristine
I want to hold them tight to me
and then you all will see
how I have fallen in love
with a blog.
The blog didn’t show
interest in being my beau
puddles of tears fell down like rain
and my heart was in pain
cuz I had fallen in love
with a blog.
So sadly it ends
and we can’t even be friends
for I had given my whole heart
and it wasn’t too smart
that I had fallen in love
with a blog.
Google Image

An Award For Me…Awww You Shouldn’t Have

.I was awarded a Versatile Blogger Award on Tuesday April 26, 2011. I have seen these on other blogs and thought it was remarkable for someone else to enjoy what they write so much to give them an award.

Oh happy joy joy the day I saw I had received one. I am a busy person and I write when I get the chance so imagine my shock that lil ole me got one as well. When it comes to blogging I am a newbie, I guess in a way my writing is new as well seeing as I haven’t done it since I was a teenager. Anyway, I digress. Thank you Ropcorn for the honor I am truly grateful and astonished that you chose me!!!!

Versatile Blogger Award:
1. Thank and link back to the blogger that awarded you the badge.
2. Share 7 things about you.
3. Award 5 or 15 other bloggers.
4. Contact these bloggers to let them know about the award

Seven things about me hmmm this is going to be hard….
1- I have been with my husband since I was 19 years old. We will celebrate 17 years together this year.
2- I taught myself Spanish. I can read, write and speak it.
3- My husband didn’t speak hardly any English when we met and I, no Spanish at all. I dumbed down so he could understand me. I am just now reupping my intelligence level.
4- I spend all of my time with my children and I would have it no other way.
5- I sing every single day and can freestyle but, I am too shy to do it in front of people.
6- Most people look at me and think I am either Mexican or White. I am mixed. Native American Indian, Irish, German, and English. And most likely more but, these I know for sure.
7- I am always shocked when someone says I am beautiful, I don’t see what they see.

Since I am so new to the blogging world, I am just getting into reading other’s blogs. Here are a few blogs that I have enjoyed and know you will too.

1- Artistik Selena
She was the very first blog I followed when I started blogging. I met her on twitter and she has been a wonderful inspiration to me and a great friend. She has a realness that comes together with stunning photos. Every time I read her blog I try that much harder to step up my blogs to her level of creativity and intelligence.

2- Vegaslindalou
A family friend; caring and great sense of humor, than again what is a standup comic without their humor. She is an author and exactly what I aspire to be when I finally decide to grow up. Intelligence, humor and beauty all rolled into one; what more can you ask for.

3- Streak For Cancer
This is a new blog I found while looking for everything Breast Cancer related. After losing my sister unexpectedly it has been my mission to bring awareness to the masses so this blog is well worth it’s weight in gold to me and as far as I have seen this blog is the only one about the Streaks of Color. Their message is streaks of color put in your hair for Cancer Awareness. It’s based in Canada but, here’s hoping they expand to the USA as well. Please support her on both her blog and Facebook.

4- Finding One’s Way
I am in love with this blog. Hell, I am in love with the owner of this blog!!! There aren’t many people in this world who just reach out and grab your hand and pull you straight into their hearts but, that is exactly what she did. Her blog is about a very serious, often silent disease called abuse. She keeps it 100% real and that is what blogging should be about, real life, real issues, real people uniting to stop covering up the disgusting world of abuse.

5- Motifs on the Wall
I am new to her blog but, everything I read is full of so much passion. She is a caring person who shows as much love to other writer’s as she does when she writes her own posts. She is an amazing person and I am glad to get to know her.

To all the great writer’s out there I missed please forgive me.

Seriously A Sonnet…Arrrgghhh

My final homework assignment is writing a  English/Shakespearean Sonnet. I am dreading this…. I don’t know why I am freaking out so badly. I guess it may be because Shakespeare is like the God of poetry and who the hell am I to think I can come close to his poetic genius.

I want to get this damn assignment done though. Arrggghhh.Somebody slap me PLEASE!!! Ok breathe, BREATHE, just  BREEEAAAATTTTTTTHHHEEEEEEEE!!!! Meltdown in blog form is kinda funny isn’t it?

But, seriously I don’t know how I am going to do this. I am stuck….I need a topic, preferably something romantic. I mean Shakespeare was the King of romance and I am Queen of the shit talkers, so, ummm, yea this is going to be difficult.

My word program is looking lonely and depressed, oh wait…. that’s me. Maybe if I connect with my inner balding man??? Although, I haven’t known men to be very romantic but, Shakespeare was a man…..so yea. Hmmm I don’t know.

I guess I am just going to have to sit and figure this out.  Here’s hoping I get it done soon. Anyone have any Shakespeare blood I can shoot up with?? Charlie Sheen??? No…….Ok well I guess I’m on my own with this one. *Waaaaaa*

‘Twas The Night Before Christmas Parody

Deviant Art

Note: This poem was written on AllPoetry for a contest on December, 17, 2010 about Ho’s obviously because it was Christmas time. LOL Oh and it won 2nd place in the contest.
Not suitable for children!

 

‘Twas the night before Christmas
and all through the street
the hookers were sucking
and beating off meat.

The spouses of John’s
were wrapping up gifts
while their husbands were frolicking
and getting quite stiff.

The sounds of their moaning
filled the star laden skies
then rocking of cars
as the ho’s opened their thighs.

The scene was so merry
oh how they all played
til a man ran off
and a ho didn’t get paid.

What was she to do
this all felt so wrong
so she whistled for her pimp
while still holding her thong.

The pimp held his hat
and he ran after the man
when he finally caught up
he drew back his hand.

He snapped his hand forward
like a whip when it cracks
and proceeded to give
the man multiple smacks.

The man began crying
with such a release
that nobody heard the sirens
of the oncoming police.

The pimp gave a whistle
shouted out ho ho ho
thanked the man for his business
and said “Bitches let’s go.”

Now the pimp is more careful
of Christmas Eve deals
he now uses hotels
instead of hookers on wheels.

Now kiddies I tell you
listen up and believe
you shouldn’t go out hoeing
on the night of Christmas Eve.

Save the hoeing for Santa
because he really is good
just ask his mentor
the great Tiger Woods.

Is It Too Much To Tell You I Love You

Is it too much
to ask for your touch
to ask for your love
to ask for more than you are willing to give?
Is it too much
to need you beside me
to need you inside me
to need you more than you need me?
Is it too much
to want you with me
every second of my life
until the last bit of breath
has escaped my weakened lungs
and my broken heart
has finally dropped it’s last piece?
Is it too much to beg you not to leave me
to wrap me tight in your arms
forever
and never let me fall
back into the dark abyss
of my damaged mind?
Tell me now
that you will be there
when I finally close my eyes
and leave you
alone
without me.
Is it too much
to tell you
I Love You?
This is the English version to :
Es Demasiado Decirte Te Amo

Es Demasiado Decirte Te Amo

¿Es demasiado
para pedir su toque
a pedir tu amor
para pedir más de lo que están dispuestos a dar?
¿Es demasiado
le necesito a mi lado
a lo que necesita dentro de mí
que necesita más de lo que me necesitan?
¿Es demasiado
que yo te quiero
cada segundo en mi vida
hasta la última gota de aire
ha escapado a mis pulmones debilitados
y mi corazón roto
por fin ha caído la última pedazo?
¿Es demasiado
pedir,
 que no me dejes
para envolver apretado en sus brazos
para siempre
y nunca me dejes caer
de nuevo en el oscuro abismo
de mi mente dañada?
Dime ahora
que usted estará allí
cuando por fin cerrar los ojos
y dejarte
solo
sin mí.
¿Es demasiado
decirte
Te Amo?

Esta es la versión en español de:
Is It Too Much To Tell You I Love You

I Want To Be…..

I want to be:
erotic
exotic
neurotic
Neurotically Fixated
updated
debated
Debatably Argumentative
representative
tentative
Tentatively Cautious
precocious
atrocious
Atrociously Appalled
mauled
sprawled
There is no debating
I want to be erotically fixated
while mauled
without caution.

Monday’s Mental Manuscript

When I started my poetry blog I had actually begun on another site other than blogspot. But, when I tried to get adsense on it, problems arose and I was forced to redo everything and move to blogspot. Now here I sit with adsense shut off because they make it appear like you will make money. HA I could have found that amount of money in my couch!!! Awwww the things you learn along the way. Now it’s been a year with both of my blogs; poetry and rambling and I have seen others blogs and all I can say is…..I WANT ONE. *waaaaa*

I wanted my blogs to be a huge experience not only for me but, for my readers as well. I didn’t think I would get this many readers, I was actually surprised that a year later I would still be here writing blogs instead of being a famous poet. Yea, I jest at that last comment, I am well aware of the nothing great happens over night quote. I knew I would get a following but, it would take more time than it has.

Convenience; is what I was hoping for. Background design is super important, because if it looks dull to me it will to others as well. Don’t underestimate a background that makes your work look well put together, is what I am saying. I like to take my time and make it all look beautiful. Maybe I am a little OCD about it but, regular small font on a plain background screams…..BORING!! If a writer doesn’t take the time to make their blog as unique as they are how am I suppose to be interested in what they write. I know I know, writing speaks for itself but, maybe the real reason we fell asleep during class wasn’t for the words but, the background on which they were written. Yes, I am reaching a bit. LOL

I am giving out way too many insider secrets here though. LOL Seriously, while writing or designing my blog I am thinking like a business woman AND a client. I think the best businesses do just that and although this business makes me no money to really be considered a business, I still treat it as one. I want beauty and brains in my blog; you know, like what I am. LOL My blog is a reflection of who I am, hence the pen name InJensMind. I want you the reader to have an all access pass into my thoughts; into ME.

I have been saying I will eventually combine both blogs into one for convenience. I also will at some point have my own domain for the blogs. But, at this moment I have to stick with that other huge vocabulary word; Frugality. I am not in a position to be putting money into my blog when I have bills and kids to raise, that would be asinine of me. Maybe I will check around and see about wordpress; wait, is wordpress free like blogger? It’s enough to remember to get on one blog with all the other one’s we read daily let alone remember two. I have got to solve this issue shortly, if not just for all of you but, for me and my sanity

.

Environmentally Safe

Note: This poem was written June 20, 1993. I was 17 years old and fresh out of high school. I am pulling this oldie out just in time for Earth Day.

When I walk along the path
I see the work of human’s wrath.
Where things are thrown carelessly away
and nothing beautiful will ever stay.
For only in your deepest soul
where pride and caring take their toll.
Only in a few more years
where no one will shed beautiful tears.
The world, our home, our lives, our pleasure
discarded to the bottom like sunken treasure.
The beauty that we once had known
has been taken and carelessly thrown.
Only two answers can save this Earth
God’s destruction or help from “new” birth!

Flower

Note: This poem was written September 23, 1994. I was with my current husband for a whole 5 days. This poem was written for his little cousin, Flor, who at the time was 9 years old. I am so happy that I found these old poems and that I found her as well. 

A little girl that I met
only awhile ago.
A pretty girl with happiness
that shows.
She doesn’t need to do anything special
to be kind
for a girl so nice is hard to find.
Flower’s Poem

Tornado Alley Gets Hit Again

It has been a wild ride in Saint Louis, Missouri this year. We started out New Year’s Eve with a massive tornado. Then on and off all year we have had thunderstorms, tornados, hail and crazy weather. I know this is tornado alley but, come on now.

Every time the tornado’s come through they take out more and more of the buildings and houses. Tonight it got Lambert Airport; you have no idea how glad I am that my family was not there for that. I feel bad for all the families that were though. I don’t think anyone got terribly hurt.

Both photos
Courtesy of
KSDK

Right now there is substantial damage to the Airport. Flights have been diverted to Kansas City and Springfield, IL. There is a small bus dangling half off the top of the parking garage. A woman sitting in front of the airport with her small child in a van was literally lifted up about 2 inches off the ground and dropped, shattering all the glass in the vehicle. How freaking scary is that?!?!?

Busch Stadium
Courtesy of
KSDK

People were rushed out of Busch Stadium during the Cardinals baseball game this evening when sirens went off. And trust me sirens went off every 5 to 10 mins for an hour or so. I was freaking out like usual. Tornado’s are nothing to play with. Interstate 270 was also closed down and may be down for awhile as hey clear up trees, debris and down power lines. I don’t live too far from 270 and I can hear the police and ambulance sirens going off from that direction. Luckily we were not hit here but, I heard people were screaming in the streets. I really feel bad for the people who witnessed it first hand and hope they realize when there is a warning stay indoors.

Photo courtesy of
StLToday

It is going to take time to clean up and repair the Airport and the surrounding homes. Just a couple of days ago we had a tornado touchdown and tear up homes too. I really feel for these people, I know it’s not as bad as what happened in Japan but, it is bad. It seems like right when we all get back on track another storm blows in and tears it up again.

I hope everyone stays safe and doesn’t have too much damage to their property. I don’t want to sound like a paranoid freak but, if you haven’t noticed, the world is screaming out for help. Tomorrow is Earth Day, I say take some time and see what you can do to fix some of the things we have done to our planet. Start little and make an attempt to go green. It may be a wee bit late to be babying out planet that we have neglected and abused but, better late than never.

Courtesy of
Lowe’s

This tornado ripped up a bunch of trees and split others in half. Lowe’s is giving away free trees tomorrow (April 23rd) so go out and get one and plant it in honor of all the fallen. Nothing can be changed overnight but, if we all join hands and make a real attempt maybe just maybe Mother Earth will stop PMSing and blowing shit up. And please I beg of all of you to be safe and heed all emergency response systems they will save your life.

Wake Up And Go To Sleep


A friend of mine asked me the other day, “Don’t you ever just sleep?” My answer is…No!!!!!

I can’t remember the last time I had a full night of sleep. Even if I do manage to fall asleep I toss and turn and move, again and again and yet again. Eventually you would think you’re body would just give up and you’d fall deep asleep and wake up refreshed. But, noooo my body is as obstinate as I am…keeps on fighting through the sleep deprivation day after day after day. As you can see I refuse to give up the fight….

I yawn and I lay down hoping, praying, and begging; “PLEASE let me sleep, just long enough to get some real refreshing rest.” I lay there, mind racing about the million things I have to do. Then I finally say to myself, “For the sake of all things holy Jennifer, just STOP thinking and SLEEP!!!” But, noooo I give up and get up because the longer I lay there the less anything is getting done. I grab another caffeinated drink or an energy shot hoping that it will boost me just enough to get through the 100’s of chores I need to do. Alas, NOTHING…..NADA….ZILCH.

No sleep and no boost of energy. ARRRGGGHHH. So now I am stuck somewhere between the brain dead living and slobbering zombie. Fun right?? Ummm, NO!! I have been prescribed sleeping meds before and I was scared out of my mind every time I took one. My husband and daughter have night terrors. It’s like sleep walking and talking only magnified by 5 with nightmarish screaming. My husband yells and then destroys whatever is in his path. My daughter screams and runs around the house trying to get out. It is scary as hell to watch and I feel helpless; it is also one of the reasons I have not gotten much sleep since my daughter was born.

The pills didn’t help though; I thought that the pills would keep me from waking up fast enough to stop them from hurting themselves or someone else. Not only did I wake up I had a hard time falling back to sleep. Not exactly the cure I was hoping for. So here I am a platinum card member of the walking dead and no relief in sight.

Ok, so I obviously have a problem and need help. I think it’s time to hop off the caffeine completely and become a Chamomile addict. God help my family while I go through withdrawals. I think I will make that call to the doctor and get a renewed sleeping pill prescription. If it doesn’t work, (because you know I have to put a little pessimism into it) then I will write about commercials that promise shit they can’t deliver. LOL

I Want to Write a Poem

I want to write a poem
that will make you squeal my name
you’ll say it with such passion
I’ll never be the same.
I want to write a poem
that will tease your tender ears
they’ll never heed another
even when my voice disappears.
I want to write a poem
to feed your endless yearning
and keep you full of my love
so to me you’ll be returning
I want to write a poem
that will stroke your very soul
to make you fall in love with me
that is my only goal.

Scream

This post contained mature content and was moved to Writer’s Orgasm. If you are 18+ you can find it here. Thank you for following Me, Myself and I InJensMind and may you have a blessed day.

T.V. Mysteries Are No Mystery To Me

You know what I would like to see on tv shows today…..mystery; good ole I can’t figure it out mystery. Is that too much to ask for?

Normally I don’t pay much attention to tv shows I am usually to busy doing 5 of 40 other things I need to get done. I say multi-tasking you say A.D.D……poe tay toe po ta toe!!!

But, today while I have been in excruciating make your ancestors cry pain; I have had nothing to do but, watch tv. I have spent more time on my back with legs in the air today than a chick at the Chicken Ranch/ Bunny Ranch combined. Unfortunately for me the moans I let out were not from pleasure.

While lying here watching Ghost Whisperer reruns and Criminal Minds reruns 1 thing kept popping up…..no it had nothing to do with my position on the couch perverts….The shows are far too easy for me to figure out. Intuition? Psychopathic tendencies? Just plain odd? Overly in touch with my inner serial killer?

I don’t know but, for the sake of my sanity…. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tv writers could you throw me a twist that my brain can’t figure out in the first 5 minutes. THANKS Oh and let’s hope God doesn’t count minutes by time spent on back or I will have some spalining to do. *Desi Arnaz voice*

Oh Sh*t

Note: This poem was written on July 31, 1994. I was barely 19 years old. The titles back then were so simplistic. My words that I penned were usually painful and either full of rage or confusion.I had left my father’s home 2 months prior and found out the reason so many in my family have turn to alcohol as the kill all for deep rooted pain.

I’m feeling all this strife
everyday of my life.
My emotions are real tight
now every day becomes a fight.
My heart is filled with countless dread
and my worst enemy is in my head.
I look upon the things I’ve done
and every thing leads to my gun.
How could a person who has stayed so strong
through everything that has turned out wrong,
turn and lead the life I lead
and hope things will get better without the greed?
I ask myself questions every day,
how can I live and still find time to play?
I tell myself that nobody gives a shit
for people like me, who give up and quit.
As I have sat night after night drinking beers
it only makes me waste all the tears.
I’m scared of my life and the horror it brings
I’m tired of living with reality’s stings.
As I sit and start thinking, I don’t give a damn
I wonder exactly who the hell I am.
How a life of loneliness I have led as a child
could turn me into a monster of wild?
I keep thinking and wondering when will my day come,
the answer keeps coming…”When your life is done!”

Google Images

I Can Only Weep

Just when I thought
I could laugh
mouth wide
open
Something smacks me in the face
like a brick
breaking my jaw
I cannot speak
I can only weep
Just when I thought
I was awake
eyes wide
open
Something hits me in the head
like a brick
breaking my brain
I cannot think
I can only weep
Right when I believed
I was alive
moving
on
Something strikes me in the chest
like a knife
piercing my heart
I cannot let go
I can only weep
Weeping Nude by Edvard Munich

Now Serving, Margarita’s for Babies

I would much rather write my own news stories than to write one based off of someone else’s. But, many times while I am reading a post; I become highly agitated by the lack of common sense in the article and by the comments of the readers. As much as I really want to crack a joke, I just CAN’T find anything funny about this at all!!!

I read last night about a 15 month old baby at Applebee’s with his parents in Deroit, Michigan; entitled ‘Applebee’s got a Baby Drunk.’ The title alone was enough to make even the calmest person upset. Apparently, the parents ordered apple juice for the child and they allowed him to drink it from the glass it was served in. The child, Dominic, began acting suspiciously; saying hi and bye to the walls and finally rested his head on the table to sleep. The parents had supposedly assumed the child was tired; come to find out their son had not been drinking juice but, actually a Margarita.

Ok before I go into what the famous food chain said about this matter, I need to address the part in this that has me baffled, if not downright livid. I have kids; we have eaten at many places since they were born, they are teens now so that shows you it’s been a long, long time.

When my kids were over the age of 1; they drank from sippy cups until, I don’t know, 2 maybe 3 years old. Not because they couldn’t handle a regular cup but, I couldn’t stand there and help them with the cup every waking moment to save my floor and their clothes from stains and them from getting soaked. So why on Earth was this child drinking straight from a glass? And don’t Margaritas come in their own specially designed glass at that? He couldn’t possibly be a professional drinker at his age; some of it had to have spilled on him and the table. What the Hell were his parents doing to not clean up the mess off the table or the child? Even now I teach my kids to clean up a spill immediately; to keep them from being wet and to not put extra strain on the waitress, who doesn’t get paid enough to clean up after a messy child, by the way. How do you sit that close to anyone let alone a toddler and not smell the potent stench of Tequila in a Margarita?

Seriously, these parents should’ve paid closer attention. The consistency alone of apple juice is way different than that of a Margarita. Let’s say the Margarita didn’t have the usual crushed ice blended thickness to it and it just had ice cubes. Some places do this; I don’t know why, because everyone knows a Margarita is thick like a slushie. So, if it did even slightly appear like apple juice, what kind of parent hands over a drink with ice cubes in it to a 15 month old? A negligent parent is who!!! That is choking hazard #1!

Ok, so you have parents who are clearly not paying attention to what their child is drinking. Kids when they taste something nasty they spit it out….did this toddler not spit out the drink at least once? Now say the drink was in a cup with a lid and a straw and the parents didn’t realize it wasn’t apple juice just by looking at it. Why would Applebee’s put a Margarita in a plastic cup with a lid and straw? Last I knew when I ate there; the bar is separate from the rest of the drinks and kitchen. This truly is one of the most messed up case of negligence on humanity that I have seen in a minute.

Now on to the restaurant’s part, “the manager offered his sincerest apologies. The family then rushed Dominic to the hospital, where he was found to have a blood alcohol content level of .10.” WTF!!!!!!!!!!! The baby was legally drunk. That is the level where an adult cannot be driving yet a 15 month old consumed that much alcohol. GTFOH…….. That amount of alcohol is the equivalence of 2-4 12 oz. Margaritas for a grown adult. I know the child is a child with a lot less body mass but, COME ON, that child had to have drunk more than a sip or 2. As a parent I am so beyond outraged; at not only the restaurant’s negligence but, the stupidity of these parents. Plus, the restaurant offered just an apology…. really, can you say lawsuit!! I can only hope if the parents do take Applebee’s to court, the judge sees fit to punish the parents also. I mean, you can’t place the entire thing on just the restaurant, any other parent would have been aware to what their child was drinking. Any other parent would have realized something was wrong before the child had a blood alcohol of .10. I am sure they disputed their bill too before rushing Dominic to the Hospital. If it had happened to one of my kids; NEVER WOULD HAVE HAPPENED but, just say if it did, the cops could have spoken to me at the Hospital about my running off and not paying my bill.

It’s time to revoke their liquor license, in my opinion. This should have never happened what-so-ever!!! And now as I try to calm myself down some, I must touch on the ignorance of the comments on the original post on Gawker.com. A lot of the comments I read said…”I had my first beer as a child” and “Parents use to use Brandy and Whiskey on gums for teething babies.” This is true; I was one of the babies soothed with this method because I was a 70’s baby, back before anyone knew that alcohol and cigarettes were detrimental for an adults health let alone for infants.

But, the part these people seem to be missing is this…. a finger dipped in Whiskey and rubbed on an infants gums is nothing compared to a full glass of a Margarita. There is a substantial amount of Tequila in one; you can have anywhere from a shot glass (2 oz) to a 1/4 or even a 1/2 of a glass depending on who is making the Margarita. I, myself, an avid Tequila drinker, pours a lot of Tequila in mine; and in my experience most restaurants don’t take the time to measure.

It’s a sad world we live in and every day I see more and more dim-witted acts that could have been avoided with just a tiny bit of common sense. Perhaps my common sense is superior to most people’s common sense. I am just so bewildered at how this could so easily happen and how so many members of society are so nonchalant about it. I will be on the lookout for more about this story, I have to know if true justice will be served.

Confessions of a Broke Easter Bunny

Easter is rapidly approaching, before long it will be April 24th and you may find yourself rushing to do something special for your children. If you have little kids who celebrate the coming of the Easter Bunny, you may feel a little overwhelmed. I will offer up some of the things I have tried in the past with my kids, and why they may or may not be a good idea. In the end though it only matters how happy you and your child are.

Clean up is a key concern for any parent. The less mess a kid makes that we the mother have to clean up is always a very important thing. We want our kids to enjoy the holidays just as much as we do but, we don’t want to spend half the day and the day before and after just cleaning up. So before you think about allowing your inner Picasso to run lose, consider how much time you will actually be spending on decorating and cleaning.

Almost every year we have decorated hard boiled eggs. We never had a system really, we just bought those cheap dye kits, because one thing I have learned while being a mom is; kids make colossal messes and have very low patience. In the time alone it takes to boil and cool the eggs for them to decorate, they could already be ready to do something else.

I always see eggs decorated in magazines and I think, “Oh if only I could do that.” It’s not that I am a creativity-challenged person; it’s just that when you have little kids you don’t want to spend the time necessary it takes to make perfect beautiful eggs. Plus if you are a person who hides the eggs outdoors you realize, that the lifespan of that egg is much shorter than normal. So unless you are making eggs for some posh magazine spread you may want to keep it low budget and simple

No matter what you decide to use to decorate eggs there are many different ways to make them pretty. Don’t be afraid to use whatever you can find in or outside your house; like leaves, flowers or bread twist ties. LOL I might try that one year with a theme of ‘You’re lucky we can afford eggs’. But, back to the real ideas now. Stickers of any kind can be applied to completely dry finished colored eggs. You can try rubber bands to make lines on your eggs; carefully place them on the eggs before inserting them in the dye. The old fashioned approach of drawing on them with a white crayon always works; but, if you are like me you get to a point where you don’t know what to draw on the eggs. Lots of dye kits come with different methods of decorating ranging from stickers to sponge painting. Make sure to read the box while in the store, some kits call for white vinegar to be mixed in with the color tablets. Don’t forget that the color will stain while it’s wet, so protect your furniture and the little ones hands and clothing.

One year the kids decorated 3 dozen eggs the day we had an Easter BBQ with some friends. I hid the eggs out in the back yard, which has a gated wooden fence and all concrete, so not much chance of the eggs getting terribly filthy. The kids happily went around finding them until I realized some were still unfound. Make sure you count them and remember where you hide them because there’s always at least one egg missing in action. I then got busy preparing and cooking food; unfortunately, I am also the BBQ’er in my family, so I became unaware that the eggs were not inside. The children had taken all the eggs they had found and continued to hide them over and over throughout the day. Needless to say, they only got to eat a few from the initial hiding because after that I was petrified they would catch some sort of chicken-related disease and die. Obviously paranoia slapped me pretty hard but, better safe than sorry when it’s comes to a child’s health.

I have done every kind of Easter basket known to be done, anywhere from the prepackaged to the handmade ones. The prepackaged are easy and require nothing more than ripping off a price tag. But, I always felt like I was cheating my kids of actual “goodies” and a loving mother’s touch. Therefore, I only did these kinds of baskets when I didn’t have the time to make up 2 baskets or if we were going out of town. Funny how I still feel bad about those baskets years later.

There are many Easter
 varieties of this game.
My kids always
loved them

If you decide to do your own baskets there is a variety of ways to do it. You can find cheap toys and stuffed animals from any store ranging from Wal-Mart to dollar stores. If your kids are anything like mine, you are lucky if anything you buy them is still intact after a few days. Usually, I would buy them some sort of cute basket or bucket and fill it with a variety of candy and toys. One of the toys that always went over well with them were those little click and catch ball games. I wish I could find a picture of it but, unfortunately Google doesn’t bring up anything useful under Easter ball games. LOL I occasionally use Easter grass but, every time I go to buy it I remember being a little girl growing up in a wooden small town and seeing the birds make nests out of it. Then my inner animal lover slaps me in the head and says NO, don’t buy that. You can hide the baskets indoors or outdoors or just leave them placed nicely on a table or floor; it’s completely up to you.

One year I got super creative and used a kit for leaving bunny tracks in the house. It was time consuming, because for one you have to get on the floor and keep placing the tracks, and I lived in an apartment complex and had to place tracks all the way up and downstairs, in and out of the building. Maybe, I didn’t have to but, if you are going to lie to your children about imaginary holiday creatures I say GO BIG!!! However, the delight on the kids face as they ran around tracking the bunny prints was priceless and kept me beaming all day long. I even smiled while vacuuming them up and listening to the gripes of the other tenants who had no small children. There’s a Grinch for every holiday I swear. The kit I bought had some kind of powder and a bunny footprint shaped sponge in it. You could use stickers of bunny tracks or make your own powder prints. I wouldn’t suggest using anything that could be toxic to your child or pet because kids are curious and will touch it and most likely taste it. Powdered sugar is an idea unless you have a tendency to get ants. Maybe some baking soda will work. Check around though at Walgreen’s or Wal-Mart, I am sure they sell something in a kit.

No matter how you celebrate Easter with your kids make sure it is fun for them. If you want additional ideas you can always Google, no point in me writing a novel on Easter Bunny Madness. LOL Take pleasure in this time with your kids, they eventually get too old and don’t enjoy the holidays like they do now. Feel free to come and tell me what you did with your kids and how they liked it. Above all, Happy Easter to you and yours.

Conversational Conundrum

I got to thinking today about how many intellectual conversations I have daily. I don’t get out and socialize much anymore since my car turned back into a pumpkin; but, I do talk a lot on social media sites, not as much as I use to but, still.

It’s strange to me that 90% of my most intriguing verbal exchanges are between my daughter (15 years old) and me. I don’t know if I should be happy or concerned. I am proud that my daughter can discuss a variety of topics and keep me mentally engaged. That is a very hard thing to do, because I swear I have A.D.D. and I become uninterested quickly. To me nothing is more vital than mental stimulation, and I do mean NOTHING. But, I’m concerned about the rest of my interactions.

Although I love conversing with her, she can’t take the place of the orgasmic delight you get from an adult conversation. No I don’t mean sexual banter, I mean two adults bonding on a completely higher level. Wait; let me think about that for a minute. I think that is possible but, thinking of the 10% of the discussions I have outside of my daughter’s and mine; I can’t exactly say I have had an orgasmic tête-à-tête.

Wow, that’s a little harsh on the people I talk to huh. But, it’s true; I wonder if I fall in the category of ho-hum conversationalist for them as well. I wonder if people who consider themselves to be on a higher level of chat, actually only are so in their own minds. Obviously, I think way more than I speak. LOL

Who do you converse with all the time? Do you get bored easily with the conversation like I do? Do you consider them to be on, below or above your level of intellect?

I think I am stuck in this conversational conundrum at least until my daughter finds herself thinking she is more intelligent than I am. Oh, how I await that. LOL

Edward Verschaffelt
Mother and Daughter

Broken

Mentally dominated
how on Earth could this be,
you’ve broken my heart
to the fullest degree.

Emotionally molested
but, I just couldn’t see,
your game from the start
was to terrorize me.
Physically exhausted
just let me be free,
you tore me apart
all that’s left is debris.
The Nightmare
1781
Henry Fuseli

Resurrection

water beads descend
golden sun kissed happiness
a resurrection
(Homework Assignment-Haiku)

R.I.P Loca

This poem was written on March 2, 2010. Thought I would share, plus it gives an idea how far my poetry as come since las year.

My heart has stopped beating
my happiness is fleeting.

I need you in my life right now
I hang my head I begin to bow.

You are not here but yet you are,
so close yet so far.

My tears run down my face all day
I can see you run I see you play.

Your scent is all around me
you are more than a memory.

Feels like someone has cut my heart out of my chest
I try and sleep my mind never at rest.

I watched you slowly die
my eyes stung I began to cry.

I held your body against my chest
I wondered if I gave my best.

I thought that it was time to let you go in peace
only God could make your suffering cease.

I held your head to me so close
while the needle injected its lethal dose.

In that moment i felt you leave
my body consumed by unbearable grief.

Your body lie there your soul has flown
the room is full yet I am all alone.

Life goes on or so they say
but most of me is with you and gone away.

Life is not about what you do
it is about those you love and whom love you.

I know this pain I feel today
will never end just slowly fade.

My body shakes my tears they flow
I know you are with me everywhere that I go.

I’m sorry my friend for it ending like this
but know it is you that I will forever miss.

R.I.P
Loca
January 2008-
February 25,2010

A Modern Day Fairytale

If you are keeping up with my poetry blog you may have noticed I am out of sorts.Those of you who pay close attention know what I speak of, the negativity has taken a vacation.  Let’s just say, it appears as if I am under a spell….of love.

I LOVE “old” style love; Fairytales with Princes and Princesses, dragons, and Knights. Medieval or Middle Ages type stories with magical wizards, witches, and happily ever after’s….awwww I cannot get enough!!!

My mother use to tell me not to read Fairytales to my daughter because those tales are just that; a Fairytale, not something that is based in reality. Still, I would not only read them to her, we would sit down and watch movie after movie completely mesmerized, singing along with “Someday my Prince will come.”

You see; I am a romantic, and it doesn’t get any more lovey dovey than those type of stories. Infact, I think I have seen every single Cinderella story out there, and there is alot of them.  I have to say my absolute favorite is ‘Ever After’ with Drew Barrymore.

I don’t look at it as an unattainable thing but, more like how people should be with the one they love. We women, want a man to sweep us off our feet but, we also want to be equal or even above him. We aren’t allowing men to play Knight in shining Armour anymore. Back then, women put in that love and their men returned it; it was simple and happy and above all it was a magical romantic time.

Maybe, it is just because I haven’t really felt that type of woooing love, so I am obsessed with it. All I know is, while I feel a certain romanticism taking over me I will use it to my advantage. After all, it can’t hurt me right? The positivity I feel is so overwhelming, like I was slapped in the head with some Pixie dust or was it a Happy Meal…. I don’t know but, I LOVE it and I will be right here waiting for my Prince to swoop in and carry me off to my happily ever after!!!

My Knight

Somehow my whole identity
just hasn’t been the same,
since the archer raised his bow
and hit me with his aim.
The beast of insecurity
within my soul was slain,
when he gazed into my eyes
and set my heart aflame.
The unknown force engulfed me
and weaker I became,
the day my knight transpired
and saved this weary dame .

Knight by John William Waterhouse