I can’t remember the last time I had a full night of sleep. Even if I do manage to fall asleep I toss and turn and move, again and again and yet again. Eventually you would think you’re body would just give up and you’d fall deep asleep and wake up refreshed. But, noooo my body is as obstinate as I am…keeps on fighting through the sleep deprivation day after day after day. As you can see I refuse to give up the fight….
I yawn and I lay down hoping, praying, and begging; “PLEASE let me sleep, just long enough to get some real refreshing rest.” I lay there, mind racing about the million things I have to do. Then I finally say to myself, “For the sake of all things holy Jennifer, just STOP thinking and SLEEP!!!” But, noooo I give up and get up because the longer I lay there the less anything is getting done. I grab another caffeinated drink or an energy shot hoping that it will boost me just enough to get through the 100’s of chores I need to do. Alas, NOTHING…..NADA….ZILCH.
No sleep and no boost of energy. ARRRGGGHHH. So now I am stuck somewhere between the brain dead living and slobbering zombie. Fun right?? Ummm, NO!! I have been prescribed sleeping meds before and I was scared out of my mind every time I took one. My husband and daughter have night terrors. It’s like sleep walking and talking only magnified by 5 with nightmarish screaming. My husband yells and then destroys whatever is in his path. My daughter screams and runs around the house trying to get out. It is scary as hell to watch and I feel helpless; it is also one of the reasons I have not gotten much sleep since my daughter was born.
The pills didn’t help though; I thought that the pills would keep me from waking up fast enough to stop them from hurting themselves or someone else. Not only did I wake up I had a hard time falling back to sleep. Not exactly the cure I was hoping for. So here I am a platinum card member of the walking dead and no relief in sight.
Ok, so I obviously have a problem and need help. I think it’s time to hop off the caffeine completely and become a Chamomile addict. God help my family while I go through withdrawals. I think I will make that call to the doctor and get a renewed sleeping pill prescription. If it doesn’t work, (because you know I have to put a little pessimism into it) then I will write about commercials that promise shit they can’t deliver. LOL