The New Chia Seed Diet

With today’s obese numbers on the rise, weight issues have become a huge problem for both adults and children.

It seems like every one you meet is now on some kind of diet, I am no exception.

I have tried to lose weight since I had my oldest child 16 years ago. Wow, you’d think after 16 years I would have lost the weight I gained in under 9 months while pregnant.

I have tried so many diets in my life; I was always put on a diet when my step-mother was on one too. To this day I still enjoy crackers and cottage cheese; in fact I can only eat cottage cheese with crackers.

I guess because I was bigger than most girls, she figured I could benefit from the diet as well. Then again I was wearing a bra way before normal girls were but, I’m sure my massive bust had absolutely nothing to do with the extra 20 pounds I have always carried around.

After various attempts and failed results, my doctor suggested exercise. So like all sensible people I purchased equipment; a bike, treadmill, weight bench and of course a Gazelle; because no one should ever have to be without a Gazelle. Let me tell you first off that the commercials are lies. You get the Gazelle in a huge heavy box and you get the great added honor of assembling it all by your lonesome, isn’t that dandy… The commercial shows everyone with huge smiles and all the older people swear there is no impact on your knees during or after a workout.

LIES!!!! Not only did my arthritic knees feel it but, I could barely walk for a week after getting off of it. Every inch of my body hurt, which is great for a workout right? I mean you feel that burn so you know it’s working. HA! My bones were killing me but, my muscles on the other hand laughed at the puniness of the machine.

After going back to the doctor we discovered that exercise would be helpful but, in small doses because alas, I have rheumatoid arthritis. Oh yeah!!!

So now I would get to work out to help the inflammation but, not enough to actually lose weight, how freaking wonderful is that… And I get the pleasure of being on a restricted calorie diet on top of that… Oh the joy!!! Can’t you see how ecstatic I am?

Whenever I get the chance I buy For Women First or Woman’s First magazines and read all their diets, recipes and natural remedy advice. They have some wonderful articles in it so if you haven’t read them and want some extra advice pick them up. No, I don’t get paid to say that…wish I did though.

I was just reading a question that somebody wrote in and asked about, it was very informative. “I’ve heard Chia seeds are the new weight-loss superfood. Could they work for me?” The response was, Absolutely!!

That was all I needed to read and I was off to the store. It didn’t take me long to find the Chia, although I have to say they aren’t as plentiful as they were a few years ago.

Never-the-less, I left the store with $200 in a sorted variety of Chia pets. When I commit to a diet let me tell you I commit mind, body, soul and money!!!

I got home and ripped open the packages, I wasn’t sure of the dosage since I didn’t finish the article. I began taking two packets of Chia seeds a day with plenty of water. As with any diet, water is always the most important thing you can drink.

I’ve been taking the seeds for a couple of weeks now and the results are shocking! Only thing is… I haven’t lost any weight but, I sure have sprouted a nice thick patch of Chia fur out of my ass!!!

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6 thoughts on “The New Chia Seed Diet

  1. Tameka Mullins says:

    Girl! This was so funny! I can relate about losing weight though. I have always been a curvy girl which I’m fine with, but also being slight of height, my weight is much more noticeable! Walking has and is working wonders for me. I try to just enjoy the activity and ignore the scale. That darn thing is evil I swear! LOL!

Stand upright, speak thy thoughts, declare The truth thou hast, that all may share; Be bold, proclaim it everywhere: They only live who dare. -Voltaire

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