A Friday Moment

Google Image

A Friday ritual. A single photo — no words — capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

“This Moment” is a ritual found on Life inspired by the Wee Man adopted from SouleMama which was introduced to others by Sarah-Jane, of Almost There.

I was asked to participate in this by Anna Sides, of The Other Side of Anna and the other great blogging members of the Facebook group Blogplicity.

If you find yourself touched by a moment and would like to participate, post your picture on a Friday and leave your link in the comments section.

Copyrighted: InjensMind

Advertisements

My Wedding’s Quinceañera

15 years ago (tomorrow), on my then 22nd birthday; my fiancé decided it would be the right time to get married. Clearly 3 years into a relationship that had already produced a daughter, was the perfect time to tie the noose… err I mean the knot.

It’s not like either one of us didn’t want to be married. Hell, we were already living as husband and wife that entire time anyway. It’s just… there were bills to be paid and a child to feed… If you really want to know the truth, we were doing our part in saving the planet by not creating superfluous paper. Sounds funny I know but, eh, it’s the least we could do for our children’s future, right?!

But seriously though, the reason’s we both had; although looking back I’m not so sure it was a “we” thing, were our reason’s and ours alone. Nobody, no matter how important they thought their opinion was, had the right to tell us when we should get married. Of course, that didn’t stop them. 37 years later in my life and those same people still haven’t stopped trying to manipulate and control me and my life. SMH!

Anyway, back to the day at hand… July 17th, my 37th birthday/wedding’s Quinceañera . Aww, I feel like I should throw it a huge party while wearing a bright multi-colored billowing dress and be surrounded by a bunch of drunken people, that may or may not be my family, and they will be gyrating and partying like it’s 1999. Because if there is one thing my anniversary/birthday is lacking, is the extravagant publicly humiliating celebration of leaving behind the innocence of childhood and diving head first off the deep end straight into the abyss of womanhood. *SIGH*

I have yet to figure out what it was that ran through my husband’s head the day he decided to forever taint my birthday with a wedding anniversary. I’m pretty certain that it was the countless bottles of booze that he ingested on the regular, but that is just too obvious an answer to be the correct one. So it must be something more diabolical; like say…I don’t know, the satisfaction he gets from knowing that I will never have another day for the rest of my life that is totally just about me! That sounds a lot more like the evil drunk I have spent my entire adult life with.

Or it could be that he was just trying to be what every woman dreams of… Prince Charming! Oh hell… now I feel bad for calling him names and being angry every single year for the last 15 years.  Way to go Jen, you fucking Romance Nazi!!!

Copyright InJensMind DO NOT COPY OR REPRODUCE July 17, 1997 @Shalimar Wedding Chapel Las Vegas, NV

Father’s Day Project: Build-A-Dad

Google Image. Copyright info on photo

Yesterday was Father’s Day. I am sure I do not need to remind any of you. As I sat around, well no… that isn’t exactly accurate. My husband was home all day and when he is, there is no sitting around. Clearly, he can sit around, demand things to be done/brought to him, or blankly stare at a plethora of asinine TV shows in English and/or Spanish but, me… I am required to go, go, go!!! Do I look like Speedy Gonzalez to you? Don’t answer that…

So as soon as I woke up, I mean got up, at about 10 am or so… I don’t remember. I just know it was still morning. Don’t judge me…. I’m an insomniac and sleeping is a problem for me. My husband started with his usual assholery and yelled something about the clips. “Where are the clips?” he yelled. “What clips? You mean… the clippers?” I replied while trying hard not to call him an illiterate son of a bitch. After all, it is his day, right?! So… I got up and waddled around the house. No, I am not pregnant but, I am somewhat fluffy these days. From room to room to room I went. Dodging dogs, shaking my head at the children that were still sleeping, over/around/up and down through the junk that has taken up permanent residence in my home from lands far and wide. Why was I cursed to marry the Mexican Fred Sanford from ‘Sanford and Son’? Or would that be, Federico Sanford de  ‘Sanford y su Hijo’? *Sigh*

Finally, I remembered where they were last put and handed them to him. All of this, not because he wanted to cut his hair mind you. But because he wanted to shave his beard and apparently shaving it with a razor or 5 was just too much freaking work for him. But, me wandering the streets of Can’t-Find-A-Damn-Thing-Without-My-Help-Ville wasn’t work at all….. *SIGH again*

I made sure at some point to mention, that I would like to go to the store, since it was Father’s Day and we had no gift for him and more importantly we had no damn milk. There is no way I was cooking breakfast on Father’s Day. I mean, hell, you know what I mean… I cook every single day. Why do I have to cook a meal that no one and I do mean no one, in my house even likes to eat? Besides it was starting to heat up in the house because the Midwest is in the center of Hell (hence the name Bible Belt) and we still have no working air conditioner. So I dressed myself, yes I know… woo-hoo Jen has finally learned how to dress herself. Do you guys always have to be so mean??? *Insert evil snort laugh*

My daughter got up and decided she would like to go with me to the store.  Shopping is one of our mother/daughter bonding times. Frankly, I take her along more often than my son because she isn’t the type to whine and throw a fit if I don’t buy her something. Just as we were about to walk out the door, my husband yells out, “You can’t leave. I need to go to Home Depot.” Didn’t I tell him not more than 10 minutes before that I needed to go to the store? *Scrolls up* Yes, yes I did. Welcome to my life people. Isn’t it a hoot?

In the time my husband is gone, I wash the dishes, that he requested I do. “You SHOULD wash the dishes before you leave the house,” he gently told me. Haha who am I kidding, right?! He has never gently told me anything in our nearly 19 years together. But, instead of complaining, I just do those loving things that a doting wife does out of the sheer goodness of her happy and fulfilled heart. *Awwww* Stop it…

My husband though… I mean, you just have to know that this man doesn’t know the meaning of a day off. Holidays, birthdays, Sundays… they are just another day to him. He is the epitome of a workaholic without the skanky secretary and the bank account to make it all worth my err, I mean his while. LOL So, what does my husband do on his day off? The one day where a father is allowed to be a mushy couch potato? The one time where everyone in the house is at his disposal? My genius of a husband chooses to rebuild the patio. Because his paranoia trumps mine by a longshot… “I have to fix this before it falls and the city condemns the house.”

At first, it was supposed to be just the railing because it was at a 45-degree angle and well… that is not what a railing on the second floor above a concrete driveway should be doing. The kids and I had long abandoned going out there because the patio door kept getting stuck on its track and I was terrified it might fall out and break. But, as the day progressed it became more and more things that needed to be done to that patio.

My daughter and I came back home from shopping to find my son sitting in the driveway guarding the wood and tools. My husband was standing on the patio, with the entire railing torn off. I graciously handed him a Monster energy drink and then continued carting bags inside the house.

It was a long day for all of us.  My son helped his dad out on his all day into the night Father’s Day project. Build-A-Dad; blackened by sweat and hard work, barely touched the dinner my daughter and I made for him. My daughter was exhausted from all the things she helped me do that are my daily requirements as housebitch.  *Sorry, I had to get in that last dig before wrapping this up*

And I? Well, I was my usual self. Tired, because being a mom and wife is hard work. Wired, because I have so much more work still left to do. A bit insane after all the “my dad is the greatest” crap I kept seeing over my Facebook feed when I finally had time to sit down and enjoy me time. But most of all I was thankful, because my kids and I have their dad in our life. And unfortunately, that is something many people don’t have. Hope you all had a splendid Father’s Day or just another Sunday in June, if you don’t celebrate.

NaPoWriMo Day:17 Latin Lover

His dark tousled hair
fell lightly over his tan shoulders
not too long
and not too short
but just right for a
latin lover.

He flashed a pearly white smile
and winked his dark chestnut-colored eye
and she swooned.

She reached out her hand
touching his.
He grabbed a hold of her tightly
kissing her with the passion
she had always dreamed of.

They fell into each others arms
on the sandy beach
not too fast
and not too slow
but just right for a
latin lover.

She laid cuddled beside him
it was just like a dream
he told her te quiero
her body wanted to scream.

She opened her eyes
searched through the night
her lover was gone
he was not in her sight.

She wanted to cry
about this horrible nightmare
but instead she looked up at the stars
and waited for her
latin lover.

Don’t forget to visit, share, and comment on these following poets pages as well:

Sweepy Jean Explores the (Webby) World
Lyric Fire
AscendingTheHills
142 Books
Sulekha Rawat: Memoirs

To create…
memoirs of a homemaker
One Time Pad
Thoughts Of Beauty In The Stillness Of Dawn…
EllieBloo
Chris Galvin
Poetry, Prose, Art and other Creative Things
Stephen Kellogg’s Blog
Turning Paige 

NaPoWriMo Day:16 You Will Be My Love

nothing can stop me
not in this life or the next
you will be my love

Don’t forget to visit, share, and comment on these following poets pages as well:

Sweepy Jean Explores the (Webby) World
Lyric Fire
AscendingTheHills
142 Books
Sulekha Rawat: Memoirs

To create…
memoirs of a homemaker
One Time Pad
Thoughts Of Beauty In The Stillness Of Dawn…
EllieBloo
Chris Galvin
Poetry, Prose, Art and other Creative Things
Stephen Kellogg’s Blog
Turning Paige 
 

NaPoWriMo Day:15 A Spicy Encounter

Her eyes
a deep oceanic blue
glazed and fixated
on something off in the distance
something only she could see.

Saliva pooled in her mouth
forcing her to swallow
repeatedly.

Beads of sweat
began to form across her
wrinkle-free browline.

She inhaled deeply
held the air
inside her
for a few seconds
then quickly she exhaled
every bit of it out.

She begins to sweat profusely
hyperventilation occurs.

Suddenly she screams out
OH MY GOD!!!

Right at the exact moment
she can no longer take it
she lifts her delicate
yet clammy hand
across her beautifully flushed face
wiping away all traces of sweat.

She refocuses
trying to control her breathing.

But before she can fully recover
she opens her devil red
painted lips
and takes another bite
of that enormous
crisp
bright green
jalapeno.

Sealing her fate yet again
for an encounter of the spicy kind!

Don’t forget to visit, share, and comment on these following poets pages as well:

Sweepy Jean Explores the (Webby) World
Lyric Fire
AscendingTheHills
142 Books
Sulekha Rawat: Memoirs

To create…
memoirs of a homemaker
One Time Pad
Thoughts Of Beauty In The Stillness Of Dawn…
EllieBloo
Chris Galvin
Poetry, Prose, Art and other Creative Things
Stephen Kellogg’s Blog
Turning Paige 

NaPoWriMo Day:14 Unhappy Ending

It was the last straw
The end
One fight too many
Arms desperately reached out
She dropped to her knees
Makeup and tears streaming
Down her aged face
She squealed
Grasping at the deadened
Stale air between them
Pleaseeee
Don’t leaveee meee
As the door slammed behind him
As it had done daily
For more than 20 years
She lay on the floor
In the fetal position
Heaving and crying
Gasping for air
Minutes turned into hours
Hours felt like days
When she could no longer cry
When her tears had finally dried up
She picked herself up
And walked into her room
Climbed into the queen sized empty bed
The dogs all deceased and gone
The children
No longer kids
Had families of their own
Packed up and moved away
A long time ago
All that was left was a house full of silence
And painful memories
She stared at the wall
Full of photos
She was in none of them
She was where she had always been
Behind the camera
Behind the scenes
The life on hold
As she uplifted
The lives of everyone else
Now there she was again
Alone
Tired
Tossed aside
Left to rot
Teardrops falling once more
And just as it had always been
There was nobody left
To wipe them away
So she slipped
Further and further
Back into the abyss
Into the one place
Where the pain
Could no longer exist
It was the end
Her unhappy ending

Don’t forget to visit, share, and comment on these following poets pages as well:

Sweepy Jean Explores the (Webby) World
Lyric Fire
AscendingTheHills
142 Books
Sulekha Rawat: Memoirs

To create…
memoirs of a homemaker
One Time Pad
Thoughts Of Beauty In The Stillness Of Dawn…
EllieBloo
Chris Galvin 

NaPoWriMo Day:13 Be Very Superstitious

Avoid the black cats
that cross your path
and walk in your way

Don’t go under ladders
or open umbrellas indoors
those will ruin your day

These are some of the things
*knock on wood*
that will change our luck
from bad to good

A ridiculous kid’s game
skipping over cracks
an age-old superstition
not to break our mother’s backs

Delicately pick up pieces of glass
from dozens of broken mirrors
your bad luck is imminent
multiply each by 7 years

Quickly throw over the shoulder
the spilt salt raining down upon the floor
then chant a dead loved one’s name
while brushing it out the door

Yellowed pages
ripping
at the seams
stuffed with dead 4-leaf clovers

A rusty horseshoe
hanging
by one nail
above a forgotten entrance

Tucked deep inside
a worn out pocket
three balding rabbit’s feet
and five copper pennies

Be very superstitious
it is Friday the 13th.

Don’t forget to visit, share, and comment on these following poets pages as well:

Sweepy Jean Explores the (Webby) World
Lyric Fire
AscendingTheHills
142 Books
Sulekha Rawat: Memoirs

To create…
memoirs of a homemaker
One Time Pad
Thoughts Of Beauty In The Stillness Of Dawn…
EllieBloo
Chris Galvin 

NaPoWriMo Day:12 6 Word Poem

I have
no desire
to write

Don’t forget to visit, share, and comment on these following poets pages as well:

Sweepy Jean Explores the (Webby) World
Lyric Fire
AscendingTheHills
142 Books
Sulekha Rawat: Memoirs

To create…
memoirs of a homemaker
One Time Pad
Thoughts Of Beauty In The Stillness Of Dawn…
EllieBloo
Chris Galvin 

NaPoWriMo Day:11 Sibling Day Haiku

my dearest brother
your love deep within my heart
can not be replaced

Don’t forget to visit, share, and comment on these following poets pages as well:

Sweepy Jean Explores the (Webby) World
Lyric Fire
AscendingTheHills
142 Books
Sulekha Rawat: Memoirs

To create…
memoirs of a homemaker
One Time Pad
Thoughts Of Beauty In The Stillness Of Dawn…
EllieBloo
Chris Galvin 

Jessica’s Sonnet

At long last… I finished my Sonnet homework last week and can now share it with you all. Hope you enjoy it, it took me 3 hours but, I am content with the outcome.

 

I must not grieve thee nor shed a lone tear
I must proceed as if I do not care
For weeping makes losing you worse my dear
Agonizing memories I cannot bear
Every dewy teardrop that escapes me
Burns my flesh like the fiery depths of hell
I must not succumb to sorrow of thee
For I shall be reminded of our farewell
But, weeping cleanses the grief-stricken soul
Easing each previous moment of pain
Allowing the broken to become whole
Sanctioning lovely memories again
Dire sorrow causes me not to cry
But, sans tears for your loss I’d surely die

Evelyn De Morgan- Angel of Death

Google Image

Freedom For Father’s Day

Google Image

Father’s Day brings mixed emotions for me. One, for my kids who rarely see their dad because he is a workaholic; I guess if he is going to be an aholic I prefer it be work over alcohol. It would be nice if their dad realized that there is more to being a dad then providing a roof over one’s head. I’m certain one day he will grasp that idea but, the kids will be grown by then.

The other is for my father who is still alive but, I don’t call him or send him a card anymore for various reasons.

One reason being, he has disowned  me too many times to remember. Secondly, I don’t receive cards or calls on my “special” days including my birthday and neither do my kids; his grandkids. And lastly, I am just tired of trying to keep a relationship alive when it’s apparent he doesn’t care. Therefore, I have taken up the position of “You don’t know me then I don’t know you.” After all these years of trying what more can I do…

Am I wrong for this? I don’t believe I am wrong, I did my best most of my life to be a part of his life and in my opinion the road goes both ways. Yet, here I am, the one putting in the effort all the time. It just isn’t worth it to me to keep trying when it’s obvious I am not wanted in his life. I did the “Christian” thing; I forgave, accepted apologies and gave apologies but, did I get unconditional love back? No, I did not get back a fraction of what I put into the supposed father/daughter relationship. What we have here people, is a failure to reciprocate.

I’ve moved on now, there is nothing left to do but, move on and as my husband says; “Just say I love you and leave it at that.” (He can be a wise man sometimes.) I have bent over backwards to be included in the lives of people who swear they love me and my kids but, don’t actually know us. My kids have grandparents and they are a mystery to them. There are no phone calls, cards, or letters… absolutely nothing except, the occasional; “You know we love your kids” statement that I have heard during a phone call. Yet, still no effort is made on their part to be a part of their grandchildren’s lives. I have a hard time with this because I was taught that family is everything; how strange… because only certain family was ever included in our lives when I was growing up the rest were “disowned.” Well, looks like I too am a part of the “do as I want or be gone” side of the family. Thank God I believe that the most important family is my husband and kids or I might just be torn up about being exiled…

I can no longer accept such half-assed attempts from anyone, no matter who they are. It is one thing to be upset at me for whatever you believe I have done wrong but, to alienate children just because they are my blood is not only ridiculous it’s asinine and childish. One day my kids will be grown and in my opinion better off for not knowing people who didn’t take time out of their busy little fantasy isle lives to acknowledge them and love them.

Google Image

So my gift this Father’s Day is the gift of… freedom. I am freeing myself of annoyances, games and intolerable trivial nonsense and I am giving my father the freedom to never have to deal with me or mine ever again; which is clearly the greatest gift for any father who constantly disowns people like they were material possessions.

What I will not give though is my silence; I have spent too many years not saying what needed to be said and watched while those around me were verbally assaulted. I know for a fact that neither of my grandparents raised any of their children to be bullies or to deny their grandchildren just because they were mad at their children for something their child did as a child. In fact my grandmother not only accepted all her grandchildren she also accepted step-grandchildren and would take all of us during the summer to stay with her at her house. So I know very well her children were raised better than to “disown” anyone.

It’s time to grow up; the child is almost 36 years old now and if I am being judged as an adult for something I did as a child, well I guess you just aren’t as smart as you think you are. Everyone makes mistakes and when you say “I’m sorry” or “I forgive you” than that is where it ends. You don’t hold on to something that transpired 17 years ago. I am not the same person I was 17 years ago and it’s a shame that some people haven’t changed at all in that time. So I end this with; I love you and I wish you well but, I cannot keep being a part of such constant hatred and childishness anymore. God loves all of his children no matter what; I know those are big shoes to fill but, you might want to give it a try.

To all the dads out there… Happy Father’s Day, love your children unconditionally and treat them well so that one day they will remember the good things about you and pass them down to their children.

Google Image

Moonlit Magic

Google Image

As the sun did descend
into the abyss
the moon came to view
our first passionate kiss.

Our mouths start to tango
hearts beating as one
the warmth of our breath
flaming hot as the sun.

Your arms they engulfed me
strongly and secure
I looked in your eyes
mesmerizing and pure.

Enchantments soft whisper
echoed through the sand
freeing its potion
as we walked hand in hand

Your charms diluted me
I could not refuse
our bodies gave in
to the moonlight’s pale hues.

The trees swaying gently
a magical sight
applauding we lovers
making love through the night.

Google Image

The Break-up Letter

Google Image

Dear B.,

Thinking back to when we first began, I never would have imagined that I would want to leave you.
But, the last month has been HELL. You had given me so much then suddenly you ripped it all away from me.

I hated you for that!!!

It was fall of last year when we met; an exotic and stunning creature you were. You weren’t my first online relationship but, you were my most intense. I was only looking for fun; never would I have dreamed that love was possible online but, then came you. Continue reading

Bird In A Cage

Vivacious yearning
saturates my veins.
No one could relieve
my suffering but, you.
I am just a bird
in a gilded cage.
You possess the key
to my lost freedom.
Enslaved ecstasy
released by you.
Passionate feelings
emancipated.
One delicate kiss
positioned warmly
upon my forehead
erases the stress.
The amorous stroke
of your tender hand
skimmed along my neck
eases the sadness.
The ever present
intoxicating
fragrance of your soul
illuminates me.
Certain casualty
magically eluded
as you release me
and claim your reward.
Google Image

Loving Adventure

Every moment I have shared with you
hasn’t always been the happiest
but, it has been an adventure.
An adventure that has lasted through many years
and also many tears.
Lasted through many days of laughter
and many times of pain.
You have kept me on my toes
and shown me what it is to live.
You have lifted me up
in times of crisis and great sadness.
In times of pure craziness
you never left my side.
Life with you has never been boring.
The very first time
we shared our first kiss
I knew it would be forever.
When you held my hand
I could tell that you felt the same way.
There was a passion
that sparked a fire
to this very day is still burning
Everyday there is a new feeling.
Feelings I wouldn’t have
if not for you.
I can’t imagine how my life would be
without you in it.
I don’t want to consider
how unfortunate my life would be
if i didn’t have you.
The days would be dark
darker than the deepest sea.
The nights would be long
longer than three lifetimes.
Time would stop completely in it’s tracks
and I would be lost
lonely and forgotten
forever
without you.
Google Image
This is the English version of Aventura Amorosa 

Fallen In Love

Hi my name is Jen
let me tell you where I’ve been
I just visited this blog post
and I don’t mean to boast
but I have fallen in love
with a blog.
The words the blog pens
makes my hair stand up on ends
I won’t attempt to deny it
so I have to admit
that I have fallen in love
with a blog.
The photos are keen
every detail is pristine
I want to hold them tight to me
and then you all will see
how I have fallen in love
with a blog.
The blog didn’t show
interest in being my beau
puddles of tears fell down like rain
and my heart was in pain
cuz I had fallen in love
with a blog.
So sadly it ends
and we can’t even be friends
for I had given my whole heart
and it wasn’t too smart
that I had fallen in love
with a blog.
Google Image

Is It Too Much To Tell You I Love You

Is it too much
to ask for your touch
to ask for your love
to ask for more than you are willing to give?
Is it too much
to need you beside me
to need you inside me
to need you more than you need me?
Is it too much
to want you with me
every second of my life
until the last bit of breath
has escaped my weakened lungs
and my broken heart
has finally dropped it’s last piece?
Is it too much to beg you not to leave me
to wrap me tight in your arms
forever
and never let me fall
back into the dark abyss
of my damaged mind?
Tell me now
that you will be there
when I finally close my eyes
and leave you
alone
without me.
Is it too much
to tell you
I Love You?
This is the English version to :
Es Demasiado Decirte Te Amo

I Want to Write a Poem

I want to write a poem
that will make you squeal my name
you’ll say it with such passion
I’ll never be the same.
I want to write a poem
that will tease your tender ears
they’ll never heed another
even when my voice disappears.
I want to write a poem
to feed your endless yearning
and keep you full of my love
so to me you’ll be returning
I want to write a poem
that will stroke your very soul
to make you fall in love with me
that is my only goal.

A Modern Day Fairytale

If you are keeping up with my poetry blog you may have noticed I am out of sorts.Those of you who pay close attention know what I speak of, the negativity has taken a vacation.  Let’s just say, it appears as if I am under a spell….of love.

I LOVE “old” style love; Fairytales with Princes and Princesses, dragons, and Knights. Medieval or Middle Ages type stories with magical wizards, witches, and happily ever after’s….awwww I cannot get enough!!!

My mother use to tell me not to read Fairytales to my daughter because those tales are just that; a Fairytale, not something that is based in reality. Still, I would not only read them to her, we would sit down and watch movie after movie completely mesmerized, singing along with “Someday my Prince will come.”

You see; I am a romantic, and it doesn’t get any more lovey dovey than those type of stories. Infact, I think I have seen every single Cinderella story out there, and there is alot of them.  I have to say my absolute favorite is ‘Ever After’ with Drew Barrymore.

I don’t look at it as an unattainable thing but, more like how people should be with the one they love. We women, want a man to sweep us off our feet but, we also want to be equal or even above him. We aren’t allowing men to play Knight in shining Armour anymore. Back then, women put in that love and their men returned it; it was simple and happy and above all it was a magical romantic time.

Maybe, it is just because I haven’t really felt that type of woooing love, so I am obsessed with it. All I know is, while I feel a certain romanticism taking over me I will use it to my advantage. After all, it can’t hurt me right? The positivity I feel is so overwhelming, like I was slapped in the head with some Pixie dust or was it a Happy Meal…. I don’t know but, I LOVE it and I will be right here waiting for my Prince to swoop in and carry me off to my happily ever after!!!

My Knight

Somehow my whole identity
just hasn’t been the same,
since the archer raised his bow
and hit me with his aim.
The beast of insecurity
within my soul was slain,
when he gazed into my eyes
and set my heart aflame.
The unknown force engulfed me
and weaker I became,
the day my knight transpired
and saved this weary dame .

Knight by John William Waterhouse


An Enchanting Fairytale Romance

Aching
tender
sensation
in the depths
of my soul.
Yearning
sweet
desire
deep-rooted
in my psyche.
My barricade
plummets
into
the abyss
of impossibilities.

The sensuous caress
 of your lips
awaken
my dormant
fantasies.

But, without you
my happiness
withers
in the dreary
absence.
I never imagined
a magnificent
enchantment
of undying passion
 such as this.

And would sooner suffer
an excruciating
death
than to be void
of your love.

Josephine Wall
Mystical Fantasy
Sleeping Beauty

Our Family’s Gift

It was a few hours after I heard
about the horrendous thing that occurred.
My sister was sick they told her cancer
we waited a week for the real answer.
But on that day instead it was said
her heart had gave out and now she was dead.
On that night my house was cold as the snow
she must of knew I couldn’t let her go.
Her presence filled the room and gave me chills
I couldn’t sleep at all even with pills.
Afraid that she’d come to me in my dream
filling me with pain and making me scream.
I became colder, didn’t sleep that night
she may have been dead but, not out of sight.
My daughter could feel her just like I could
her body had failed but, her soul withstood.
My daughter asked, “Are you here now Aunt Jess?”
her body started moving motioning yes.
My daughter came to me, wondering what to do
I held her tight knowing she was sad too.
For a couple nights she slept in my bed
trying to keep spirits out of her head.
See it’s a gift passed down through our family
communicating with ghosts that other’s can’t see.
It gets quite exhausting, the constant drain
people don’t get it, they think we’re insane.
But, it doesn’t matter, we still live on
and keep sharing our house with souls from beyond.

Forever you shall be my "unconditional" love

I love my kids more then anything in this world or out of it for that matter. I could go my entire life without a single other person near me but, them. Nobody and I mean NOBODY will ever occupy that part of me like they can.

I am sure you will say, “All mother’s say that about their own kids.” No, ALL mothers do not say it, think it or feel, trust me when I say I know many a mother who is more consumed with the scent of her bodywash then that of her children. Sad world we live in isn’t it?!

I say this because as you know, we just celebrated my son’s 13th birthday on the 9th. As I sat with the kids all day waiting for their father to come home, the fires of Hell were visible throughout my entire body. I swear you could not only feel the heat coming off me but, see the red glow just looking for an escape route. 11:30 pm we took my son to eat at Denny’s for his birthday. No cake, no gift, just a lousy ass meal from a second-rate restaurant. I mean they’re ok but, they aren’t birthday material, at least not in my Elizabeth Taylor imagination.

As we drove to Denny’s I became more calm. While ordering food and eating I was much calmer. By the time I went to sleep I was the Dali Lama.  My son was happy, with all he didn’t get, he was still happy!?! We came home, lied on the couch, cuddled and watched Paradise:Hawaiian Style, which my son picked out by the way. It is my firm believe that Elvis can calm the angriest of beasts. I know this to be true because when I am angry, there isn’t anything more fierce on this planet, hence my nickname, Leona. (Lioness)  Singing or acting; that man, who I am also distant cousins with,(my great-great grandma on my father’s maternal side is a Presley) can tame the wildabeast in me.

So today I decided, every birthday will now be a week long event, because this is not the first time and it won’t be the last where I am trying to make rice pudding out of birdseed to make up for their father’s lack of sensitivity and common sense. I came to the conclusion I would take my son to Marshall’s, which closes at 9:30 pm and my son can pick out his birthday gift. I called “it”, because at that moment I couldn’t possibly call him husband. Husband is a word you use for a man who actually does what husbands are suppose to do. I asked him, “Will you be home before 8 pm?” “Yes” he said. Now that right there is where my stupidity comes into play. You see I know damn well that he is never on time. He keeps absolutely no schedule and as soon as I have plans, well…. forget about it…. he will do whatever in his power to screw that up. He walked in the house at 9:30 pm, how convenient!!!! I gave him a verbal bashing, again my stupidity and raging temper came into play, and said I am taking my son to WalGreen’s.

Needless to say, my son got his birthday gift at WalGreen’s. But, he is happy. You read that right, MY SON IS HAPPY with his gift from WalGreen’s. Why am I shocked? I said I raised them right, didn’t I? I was happy with anything I got as a child too because I worked hard for what I got. My kids don’t have to do much, they are basically still spoiled just not with toys like when they were real little.

This is where I know that I am a great mom. This is the part where I get all teary-eyed, realizing I have broken the cycle of bad parenting in my family and sill managed to raise wonderful human beings. And despite the fact my husband can be an inconsiderate jackass of a man when it comes to birthdays and holidays,I know deep in my soul that his part in all of this just reinforces what I teach them. “There will always be people in your life like him”, I told the kids earlier this week. That is the truth, there will always be people in your lives who think they are more valuable, important, gifted, or whatever, than you. It is best to learn how to deal with them sooner rather than later. In otherwords, don’t live your life around their schedule, ignore them and keep living your life fully. People like “them” will one day have to face Karma and aren’t they going to be shocked when they find out the purpose of life wasn’t about money. Oh well, have fun with that.

My children use to get disappointed for their fathers lack of commitment, therefore I too would be disappointed for them. I was constantly picking up the pieces and “fixing” everything. I became exhausted from doing it on a daily basis. I never minded doing it because I am their mother and nobody is more important to me then they are. NOBODY!! I stand by that til my death. When I was in need…they were there. When I was alone…they were there. When I was happy…they were there. They have always been there as I have been for them. And no matter what happens or doesn’t happen, we love one another. That right there is what we call, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!!  So I leave you with this insight…. keep the ones that matter close and all in life will be as it should be.

Unlocked Happiness

Pitter patter pitter patter
what is making all that clatter?

The echoes of my little ones
giggling soft my daughter’s and son’s.

Sneaking up on their tippy toes
trying to scare me I suppose.

They reach out and caress my head
I then fall down upon my bed.

The kids laughter fills the whole room
’til I roll off of the bed….BOOM.

While I am lying on the floor
they shake me hard until I snore.

“Mommy’s sleeping.” one tells the rest
while placing his head on my chest.

I let out a quack and a moo
oink, baa, and cock a doodle doo.

The kids all line up and march off
you won’t hear a sneeze or a cough.

No sound escapes without a doubt
’til all the hugs are given out.

We all embrace before we dine
because that’s how you let love shine.

And this we do most every night
so that we laugh and rarely fight.

Unlock happiness with these keys
little things make big memories.

My Sister’s Keeper

Nothing prepares you for the words I heard in under a week’s time. How we went from, “your sister has cancer” on Saturday to ” your sister died” on Tuesday, I will never understand. I am still in shock, I manage to stop crying long enough to scream, ” God why?” My chest hurts, I have seen death in my life, it is no stranger to me but, this….

She deserves so much, she deserved to know every day of her life that she was indeed loved. Something I think she questioned daily in her short 33 years of life. I spent our entire childhood trying to protect her from any kind of pain imaginable. I failed to do this when she became an adult. I, like everyone else in the world, had decided she had to grow up and face life head on. What I didn’t see was she had no idea how to do this because of me allowing her to stay a child and not learning the true reality of life itself.  Continue reading

Not even love is free

They say the best things in life are free
but, I will have to disagree.
Not because I am materialistic
but, just for a second let’s be realistic.
Everything in life has a price
give me a moment, I’ll try to be concise.
Even in love you have to pay something
eventually it will be in the form of a ring.
But, first you begin by giving a kiss
then one gets returned if you do not resist.
Now that isn’t money but, it is a trade
and is considered a way to get paid.
As you continue you move on to dates
and the more things you do the higher the rates.
There’s nothing you can do once the trading starts
for next thing you know you are paying with hearts.
So I tell you my friends love is just like a whore
and in the end you always get what you pay for.

Gustav Klimt – Gustav Klimt Love Painting

Love at first sight

From the moment I saw you
I was in love.
Gazing deeply in your eyes
I saw your soul
so pure.
I was addicted
I could not look away.
It took but a moment
and instantaneously
my heart melted.
The frozen gates
that sheathed my soul
unthawed.
The guard that had enslaved
my life
dropped his weapon.
He withdrew
from his post
leaving me open
to new possibilities.
I knew from that very first glance
that I would eternally
be in love.

Love at first sight by angeliq

Daydreaming of you

Your face next to mine
I have seen a million times
every curve and every hair
I can’t help but to stare.

The way you hold my hand
and tell me your my man
and go the extra mile
to always make me smile.

The way you hold me tight
you make it feel so right
you kiss me long and slow
and never let me go.

Then you say my name
I look up at you in shame
trying hard not to scream
it’s another damn daydream.